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You might be a Vibram Five Fingers Fan if

You might be a Vibram Five Fingers fan if …

How would you complete this sentence? Let me know in the comments!

And in case you didn’t notice, I’ve created a Birthday Shoes fan page on facebook! Become a fan of the fan site on facebook today!

You might be a Vibram Five Fingers Fan if …

By Justin

Justin Owings is a deadlifting dad of three, working from Atlanta. When he's not chasing his three kids around, you'll find him trying to understand systems, risk, and human behavior.

80 replies on “You might be a Vibram Five Fingers Fan if”

… or you got a pair of Treks the day after your birthday and said out loud to yourself “this is the happiest day of my life!”
But you know there will be better days… when the Bikila comes to your door!

…you rip a hole in your brand new pair and immediately go back and order another

…you move to a new city and the first thing you find out is where your local VFF dealers are.

…my friends/coworkers can give the vff pitch to anyone asking about my shoes since they have heard me tell it many times.

… you can always sense people around you are talking about your feet.

… your 5 year daughter also senses people talking about your VFFs and tells them “those are his toes shoes and wears them every where!”

You have more pairs of VFFs than you have of ‘regular’ shoes. Or more than you EVER had of regular shoes.

…you need to remind yourself NOT to wear them when you dont have to because half the point of the footwear is for those who love to be barefoot! (i.e. While playing sports in the grass…*puts on VFFs*…oh wait…I can be be barefoot! Yes! haha)

You buy the black V5F’s TREX’S for your wedding, AND They cost more than the RINGS!! 🙂

… you have the Birthday Shoes tab on your browser permanently open.

… you are able to pull toe socks on in one go, even getting in the pinky toe with no hesitation.

… you more excited talking about VFFs than about your job. (Though that may be more about the job…)

…..you wear them so much, you forget they’re there until you wake up the next morning and realize they’re STILL there!!

…you go on YouTube and make a video of yourself reviewing your VFFs.

…you go on YouTube and search for videos of ppl unboxing their new pair off VFFs, even tho you have your own.

when you are obligated to put on a “real” pair of shoes you feel like you’re wearing padded blocks of cement.

You make it through airport security without having to take off your VFFs, and after you walk through the detector, a TSA guy says to you, “I like your socks.”

…you are literally laughing out loud at these comments.

…you appreciate nerdy VFFan humour.

…your VFFs actually start to feel like “God’s shoes”, a gift and a blessing among shoes.

…you chuckle to yourself as you replay the “J.J. Casuals” SNL skit in your mind.

,,,you watch your toes spreading in amazement.

…you feel a oneness and connection to the Earth and our “roots”, you see possibility in them both as part of our future.

you buy “birthday shoes” stickers, mod them and decorate your iPhone case. Then post the pic online.

Have a set of photos on Flickr dedicated to your VFF adventures.

Your enthusiasm about them is so contagious that more and more people want to buy them.

Responsible for at least 5 people catching VFF flu so far.

….you get Teh Vibram Ogle everywhere you go (a sideways and downward glance that quickly turns into whiplash in the unsuspecting virgin viewer).

….you smile like Buddha at the gauntlet of comments.

…you leave people wearing Crocs(tm) feeling needy and unfulfilled.

You might be a VibramFiveFingers fan if: After purchasing your first pair you’re already thinking of buying your next pair.

After buying a new pair of VFF’s, you hide the box in your car trunk, in case a thief recognizes them and breaks into your car to steal them.

Or, you’re drying VFF’s out in a laundry room rack which can be seen from the room window-you think twice about doing this; as it might attract a home “break-in.”
(both true stories)

…you can count your toes with your shoes on.

…you can no longer walk for more than 10 minutes in dress shoes/high heels without ranting about how horribly your pinkie toes are being pinched and in the end decide that it’s just not worth dressing up in the era of A.V.F.F. (Anno Vibram FiveFingers).

…all of your dress shoes have a new bulge on the side where your buffed-up pinkie toe is pushing them out.

you conduct a google search everyday hoping for an unexpected release of the Bikila knowing that your life is empty with them.

You might be a Vibram Five Fingers Fan if…you have to be reminded to take them off before crawling into bed.

This is exactly what I had to do the evening of the first day my wife began wearing her VFFs. And now that I have a pair of KSOs, I know exactly how she feels.

You know you are a fan when you already have the new outfit that you are going to wear with the gorgeous new orange and pink Bikila and you regular check the website to make sure they haven’t been released while you were sleeping.

you love being barefooot but since you tried your fivefingers on you never again noticed you have shoes on

you are “toeing” the line between an excessive and acceptable amount of comments to this post! the compulsive need to comment more than once definitely gives off the vibe of being a VFF-fanatic.

(speaking for myself on this one 🙂

…one of your first thoughts upon getting a video camera for the holidays was “Now I can film myself running in my VFFS!”

…you catch yourself admiring your feet in window reflections when you walk by.

…you go out of your way to walk on mud (to leave cool “foot” prints) or gravel or sticks (because it feels interesting and gives you a foot massage).

…your feet develop “eyes” and avoid pointy rocks without your having to think about it.

everytime you are forced to wear regular shoes, you worry that they are “destroying” your feet and all you wanna do is take them off

you already know what you want for the next couple of birthdays and christmas’s

…you make plans depending on whether you can wear your VFFs or not (this includes dressing for the day).

…you “need” VFFs to “feel good” or to function normally.

…you are unable to stop buying just one pair of VFFs.

…you are unable to focus at work and long to hit the trails in your VFFs to “feel better”.

…you have just started trail running to experience the feel of different trail conditions massaging your feet.

…your wife thinks VFFs are the result of an early mid-life crises, but she is glad it’s just VFFs and not a sports car and/or a mistress.

…you look at ‘regular’ shoes on Monday morning and cringe at the thought of having to wear them for the next 9 hours.

Greet people by shaking their hand with your foot, “Hello, these are my new VFF’s, and oh by the way, my name is…Nice to meet you.”

…you realize that you’ll never show deference for your delicates since your lingerie bag is reserved for washing your VFF’s…

when the only pair of regular shoes you will wear is under the desk in your office and are only removed and worn for REALLY important meetings with REALLY important people.

when you are conflicted about what to do with the rest of your shoes: give them to charity or throw them away because they might keep someone from discovering barefooting.

when you can put a pair of Injinji socks and your VFFs on in about 40 seconds.

when you’ve boiled your response to people who inquire to “google five fingers” (unless you have a lot of time and can’t resist going into VFF evangelist mode).

if you can put in your sprints standing up blindfolded and half asleep everymorning in less than two minutes.

You’ve been begging vibram to make white so you can wear them to work! (uniform code for the spa where I work)
You can put on KSO’s quicker than flip flops, and take them off without hands
Your wife tells you to get of http://www.birthdayshoes.com and come to bed.

When you wear regular shoes all your pants are too short because you had them shortened to go with your VFFs.

you’re less excited about the upcoming releases of The Thor Movie, Captain America Movie, the release of Portal 2 and Penny Arcade Expo 2011 COMBINED than you are of the Euro-Style Bikila Sprints FINALLY being released here in the fall! 😀

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